I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
