im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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