i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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