Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
