Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
