at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
