Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
