Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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