Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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