well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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