Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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