"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
