I think I am morally bankrupt
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
