what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
