hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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