How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
