I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
