I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
