Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
