I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
