Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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