I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
