i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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