Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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