sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
