The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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