her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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