he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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