help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
