I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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