You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
The best revenge is premature balding
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
