Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Randomize
