Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
