Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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