Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
