kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
