Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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