Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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