ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
