I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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