On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
