WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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