I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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