I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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