He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
