i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Randomize
