Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
