I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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