Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Randomize
