Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
